I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Mom said you looked used
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
