Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
