Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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