you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
