i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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