1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize