erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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