drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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