sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize