No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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