That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
