Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
