who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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