Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
