I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
