i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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