party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
