In the future we'll all be gay
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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