I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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