1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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