Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
