Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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