Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
