i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
