I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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