if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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