He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
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