hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
