I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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