..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
