Whod you bang
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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