I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize