Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
