I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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