Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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