Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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