he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
