I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
