how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
