the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
