so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
