Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
