girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
either way he was missing a nipple.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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