maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize