Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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