Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
