Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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