You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
