Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
