Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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