I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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