you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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