I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my liver is dry heaving
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
