brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
