We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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