Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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