Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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