i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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