Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
