before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
