Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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