Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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